Tag Archives: zitate

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #012

“I like the keyboard. Screw these inefficient letters…we’ll do binary directly!”

“Dude, this isn’t just any slap, it will go down in history. This moment will be forever known as “The Slap.” It wasn’t just any slap either, I bet scientists are figuring out how beautifully executed this slap was, every-time you replay it, you can almost feel the impact of the slap. It was like that first crack of the whip before your mom whooped your ass. It was like a billion toothpicks being snapped all at once. Everyone in that subway car felt an explosion when the slap was delivered, This slap could end world hunger, because it’s the slap.”

“I cannot draw a straight line with a ruler…”

“If this kangaroo slapped my girlfriend’s ass I would look the other way”

“You got dadded so hard it’s like your Grandpa was there too.”

“Bitch needs to do some pullups. She has the upperbody strength of a drunk 1-year-old.”

“Those hands are veinier than my dick.”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #011

“me: “Is that a nipple?!? oh wait, its a mannequin””

“I would have to make sure I pooped all the poop I could poop before getting into that contraption.”

“155 megabytes? mega? not kilo? Then this is not a demoscene, just a 3d cartoon.”

“Well, this made me blow enough air through my nose that I left a booger on the desk.”

“the whole universe works like this , some shit orbits some heavier shit and everything orbits your mom”

“So much zoom, and stabilization, frames per second and helicopter speed! It’s a damn shame that rider is probably going to crash and die.”

“Foxes; dog hardware running cat software.”

“I’m just happy to sit on my lazy ass all day and make all of my money drawing porn.”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #010

“At first i was like “Who cares?” Then i was all “Holy sweet sonofabitch Jesus. Stalking the neighbor girl just got a whole lot easier.”

“I’ve got something else that’s 19 inches. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (It’s a computer monitor)”

“What the fuck is that shredder made out of? Nokia phones?”

“OK but a 40 foot slide is a bitch to clean out when the first kid shits in it”

“This is the whitest videos I’ve ever seen. And I’ve watched a video of white paint drying.”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #009

“Every time they create a foolproof system, the fools will see it as a challenge and try to beat it…”

“id fucking kill you if you started setting up all that shit next to me on a plane.  why cant you fucking listen to music and go to sleep like a normal fucking person you autistic fuck nugget”

“You fucking nailed it so succinctly I had a wordgasm.”

“3310 forever. We shot mine in the back with a CCF rifle and the bullet just lodged in it. The phone still worked.”

“Just like guys & girls going down on areas that we urinate out of. Or those lesser few who dig at that brown star with their tongue.”

“You might want to consider cleaning the dried cum spurts off your mirror before you do a selfie next time.”

“Fun Fact: masturbating when you have allergies relieves a stuffed nose by redirecting blood flow”

“How did his balls fit through those tiny corridors?”

“Dude. That guy straight PCP-ninja’d his way out of there.”

“Bet their drill busted atleast 50 Times and they accidentally killed 20 civilians whilst yelling “HOXTON” as loud ad possible.”

“I see hes testing the dynamic of the current through the usage of the lawn blower to circulate increase amount of oxygen to create a higher combustion.
He might invent the next warp drive to get us to Mars.”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #008

“The “Unsubscribe” Button is the Waldo of an email newsletter”

“I once yelled MOTHERFUCKER at a book and threw it across the room.”

“Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program.”
– Linus Torvalds

“If I’m pooping for too long, sometimes I talk to myself just to make sure I’m still alive.”

“I don’t know if this has happened to you but the other day I was walking in the park and woodpecker called me paranoid in morse code.”

“My doctor told me to always sit when I pee. I’m not allowed to lift any heavy objects.”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #007

“You’re the noise in the signal-to-noise ratio on Reddit.”

“Your friend could get a sunburn from the moon.”

“That moment when you ask “What fucking idiot wrote this?” and it turns out it was you, 6 months ago.”

“Never use i for the innermost loop variable. Use anything but. Use i liberally for any other purpose especially for non-int variables. Similarly use n as a loop index.”

“Make sure that every method does a little bit more (or less) than its name suggests. As a simple example, a method named isValid(x) should as a side effect convert x to binary and store the result in a database.”

“I would never treat a clitoris like I treat my penis. I beat my dick like it owes me money”

“I told him I can’t open the jar, he said, download and install Java”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #006

“As a wife, I am jealous you got to pull that out. My heart raced as I looked at the photo. Pulling an ingrown like this is my life long dream as a wife… It would be my greatest accomplishment.”

“Prüfungen bringen nichts für den Lernprozess, sondern leiten den Lernenden nur an, sich isoliertes Inselwissen für eine Prüfung anzueignen.”

“When I was about 11, I got three headshots in a row with a Five-seven, on de_rats, and was immediately accused of hacking and kicked.”

“Yes, sometimes in casinos a lone dealer will see you from afar and shout out, “l0l fite me fegit 1v1 i rek u ez m8!” Never accept.”

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #005

From what I see in the comment section, humanity needs to be wiped out and start over. Holy fuck, I’m ashamed to be apart of the human race, I wish I was a whale or something.

Das umblättern funktioniert auch mit einem Wiener Würstchen. Vielleicht kann man ein solches als Verlängerung unter der Bettdecke hervor benutzen.

Open Source ist doch Linux? (und Derivate). Da läuft doch sowie so nur Kleinzeug, das nur Mist macht.

Zitate aus dem Internet – Oh Ppl Pls #004

This video taught me more than years of education…

Leute ihr seit corekt win ihr vile kliks gibt und schön aboniren nicht vergessen aboniren leute ihr seit gut wen ihr das mach schau!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

id dubstep those titties. wub wub wub wubabawbwbaabwbaabawbww

I pee in the middle of the toilet to make as much noise as possible and establish my dominance.

…I’ve got more hair growing out of my ears than this dude has on his whole face…