“At first i was like “Who cares?” Then i was all “Holy sweet sonofabitch Jesus. Stalking the neighbor girl just got a whole lot easier.”

“I’ve got something else that’s 19 inches. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (It’s a computer monitor)”

“What the fuck is that shredder made out of? Nokia phones?”

“OK but a 40 foot slide is a bitch to clean out when the first kid shits in it”

“This is the whitest videos I’ve ever seen. And I’ve watched a video of white paint drying.”