“me: “Is that a nipple?!? oh wait, its a mannequin””

“I would have to make sure I pooped all the poop I could poop before getting into that contraption.”

“155 megabytes? mega? not kilo? Then this is not a demoscene, just a 3d cartoon.”

“Well, this made me blow enough air through my nose that I left a booger on the desk.”

“the whole universe works like this , some shit orbits some heavier shit and everything orbits your mom”

“So much zoom, and stabilization, frames per second and helicopter speed! It’s a damn shame that rider is probably going to crash and die.”

“Foxes; dog hardware running cat software.”

“I’m just happy to sit on my lazy ass all day and make all of my money drawing porn.”

“At first i was like “Who cares?” Then i was all “Holy sweet sonofabitch Jesus. Stalking the neighbor girl just got a whole lot easier.”

“I’ve got something else that’s 19 inches. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (It’s a computer monitor)”

“What the fuck is that shredder made out of? Nokia phones?”

“OK but a 40 foot slide is a bitch to clean out when the first kid shits in it”

“This is the whitest videos I’ve ever seen. And I’ve watched a video of white paint drying.”

“Every time they create a foolproof system, the fools will see it as a challenge and try to beat it…”

“id fucking kill you if you started setting up all that shit next to me on a plane.  why cant you fucking listen to music and go to sleep like a normal fucking person you autistic fuck nugget”

“You fucking nailed it so succinctly I had a wordgasm.”

“3310 forever. We shot mine in the back with a CCF rifle and the bullet just lodged in it. The phone still worked.”

“Just like guys & girls going down on areas that we urinate out of. Or those lesser few who dig at that brown star with their tongue.”

“You might want to consider cleaning the dried cum spurts off your mirror before you do a selfie next time.”

“Fun Fact: masturbating when you have allergies relieves a stuffed nose by redirecting blood flow”

“How did his balls fit through those tiny corridors?”

“Dude. That guy straight PCP-ninja’d his way out of there.”

“Bet their drill busted atleast 50 Times and they accidentally killed 20 civilians whilst yelling “HOXTON” as loud ad possible.”

“I see hes testing the dynamic of the current through the usage of the lawn blower to circulate increase amount of oxygen to create a higher combustion.
He might invent the next warp drive to get us to Mars.”